The Science of Stress

It's an ominous title that one isn't it?  Allow me to explain what I mean and how the effect is being felt ...

Since January of this year I have been in an interim role with my company, serving as the Quality Manager.  We manufacture contact lenses, which are classed as a medical device and are therefore subject to many regulations and laws regarding their manufacture.  This is all scary stuff!  It would also, were I fortunate enough to secure the job, represent a major promotion - so the incentive is definitely there.

As this is such a key role the recruitment net has been cast far and wide - not just within the company boundaries (global) but also externally.  Thankfully, I am now down to the last two candidates - statistically speaking I have a 50:50 chance.  The intention is for one final phone interview with the Global Head of Quality, which should take place this week - possibly with a decision being made by the end of the week ...

This all sounds very grand and very exciting ....

Do not be fooled dear readers.  This is playing bloody havoc with my training, both in terms of intensity and more disturbingly in terms of motivation.  I think the stress of not knowing is proving to be the worst thing.

Mind you, the inner mad scientist in me is finding the whole experiencing strangely fascinating.  How can a person go from being totally driven in their sport and their goal, especially with an impending Iron Man, one day and then go totally flat, energy less and unmotivated the next?  You could probably write paper after paper on the topic - in fact I'm sure plenty of sports-shrinks already have done?

I thought about going for a nice long run on Saturday to clear my head.  That's as far as I got ... thinking about it.  I felt so dead and unmotivated that all I could do was play on the damn Xbox and eat Mars Bars ... how crap is that!

Felt a bit better on Sunday though.  Got up and went swimming with James, who is now under the expert supervision of Dean. He swam his heart out and I was SO SO SOOO proud of him.  James has decided that triathlon may be the way forward.  Little steps ...

After swimming I went out with Jamie and Tamsin for a ride across the Downs and put in some real beastie hill work on a couple of killer hills ... lovely, especially as I rode home with the virtual polka dot jersey (see Tour De France for relevance of that last gibberish statement).  Not the longest of rides at 55km door to door, but at least I'd got off of my fat Mars Bar arse and done something.

And so, here I am, awaiting the important call details ....  So hopefully, the next time we speak, I will have found out one way or the other my fate.  Either way, a decision will have been made, and I will be able to get on with my IM training properly.

One quick note before I go.  I haven't mentioned my new toy yet have I?  My rollers no less ....

Ah - this picture doesn't really help does it?  I haven't been struck with some bizarre desire to alter my hair style to a curly top ... that would be bloody ridiculous and would make me look, along with all the Mars Bars, like some fat arse footballist from the North ....

No, I refer of course to the dark art of bike rollers - that genuinely terrifying prospect for all cyclists and triathletes to try to develop the art of, what the French call, souplesse.  Smooth, powerful and efficient riding.

Well, that's what the advertising blurb says anyway.  However, the terrible truth is that you sit on your bike atop 3 moving rollers and try your hardest not to throw yourself at the ground.  My first attempt - setup in the hallway at home - resulted in me not being able to let go of the picture rail, sweating heavily with absolute panic and a 200+ heart rate.  I think I may have left fingernail marks in the rails!  Attempt two - able to get up a reasonable amount of speed and ..., oh yes, think I've got it, bit wobbly but still upright.  Attempt three - getting confident now - can you see where this is going?  Up to full speed, feeling good, very confident, bit too confident ....., throwing in some deliberate wobbles and recovering it ...., massively over confident ...... CRASH !!!!!!!  Big heap in the hall, with me, the bike and rollers in a real tangle.  That HURRRRRRTT!!!!!  The author, Douglas Adams, wrote in The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy that the art of flying is very simple - all one must do is to throw themselves at the ground and miss ....  I can assure you that I threw myself at the ground at great speed and damn well hit it square on - no flight achieved.

Only one thing you can do in a situation like this .... get back on and ride .... and be VERY thankful that no one else was around to witness you getting 'baptised' by the rollers.

Will speak soon, hopefully with good news.  Until then, be good children.

Where did that month go?

Going to have to start with an apology, better make that a bloody great big one.  It has been a whole month (and probably a smidge more) since my last update, shame upon me!  Rest assured I shall have myself taken aside and thrashed enthusiastically with an old bike tyre.

 I shall make sure I keep on top of the updates from now on as the training steps up into the properly scary serious phase.  But first, let us play catch up while I tell you, my dear readers, a tale or two ...

A long time ago, on a race course far far away (well, Battle actually, so that shows that this is turning into a fishing tale already ...).  The Sussex Marathon - a new event from Team Lifestyle, that brings the challenge of a marathon to the local area and then, in true Team Lifestyle character, makes it much MUCH more challenging.  I have been training for a number of months with some team members, all of whom, ran the marathon.  One of our happy crew, Tamsin, had not run one before but was determined to rack up the 'big-one' and to do it in style - hills and all.

As we had trained together, and in order for me not to go at the race like some bloody loony and put myself out of IM training for months on end, I elected to run with her as her pacer.    Tamsin is a superb athlete but had a real mental block about the distance.  Those of us training with her could see that this block was only as solid as mist and all she needed was self-belief.  I know this sounds like a load of hippy-crap but it's true, and anybody who has stepped up to a much bigger event will have experienced this.

Marathons do funny things to the best of them, and this event was no different.  The miles pound away at your body and drain you of energy and muscle endurance - this is why you put in the miles to build up to it.  But a marathon also targets your mind - a result I suspect of rapidly diminishing blood sugar and can, as a result, do really weird things to you.  We started off well, with good pacing and good refuelling at each drinks station.  But the long long hills took their toll, and our minds gradually broke down resulting in my impression of the Morecambe and Wise dance (think back to 'Bring Me Sunshine').  The final clue as to our psychological collapse was the loud and graphic squabbling that must have looked something like Terry and June - The Early Years!  However, we battled on and went on to finish strong and triumphant -  a damn fine race ran well.

Bit of a rest for a couple of weeks after the marathon.  Conventional wisdom states that you should take a good four weeks to let your body rest and repair.  And there lies the problem, wisdom and my total lack of it ...

Then, along came the long Easter weekend and the first big Iron Man training day - the grand brick set.  Also starring for the day was a whole heap of nervous anticipation and self doubt (there we go, as previously mentioned).  Soon gave that lot the heave-ho though after four hours of high quality riding with John and Sarah, followed immediately by an hour run up and down the sea front and over both part of  Galley Hill.  We only dropped 1 minute between the two bike laps and covered somewhere around 70 miles of riding.  A good training session (especially so close to the marathon) and good company - cheers guys, you both restored my cycling faith.

First sea swim followed on later the same afternoon - the perfect chance to try out my new 2XU R1 wetsuit (the replacement to my old 2XU E2 - fantastic customer service).  The suit was fantastic but the sea was bloody freezing, and I do mean properly cold.  Despite all the clever technology in the suit nothing can cancel out the affect of cold water making your chest tight and your breathing going to pot.






Then we have had the Royal Wedding weekend - and another chance for copious amounts of training.  I marshalled the Royal 5k on Friday, but then went on to put in 40km of hill work on the bike and 45 minutes of running on Satuday, 1 hour swim / 65km of riding hard and hilly on Sunday and rounded off with another 40km of steady riding followed by an hour of running yesterday.
So, what next?  I think it needs to be lots of stretching, a bit of a rest for a day or two and then back onto the rollers and the turbo for some specific technique and strength work.

Look after yourselves dear folks, I'll be back soon ...
Al

Good weekend - happy again

It's been a good weekend - both with the weather (just) and with the training and I am starting to feel a lot happier and more positive again.

I gave swimming a miss on Friday due to feeling totally knackered.  It's not a particularly good excuse but it's the truth.  Went running with the club on Saturday and found that the Hastings Half was very much still present in the legs - but as I was running with Emma Faulkner, who was also suffering for the same reason, we both had to basically just get on with it.  After an hour  we both finished the set strong and out front - good set.

Sunday - swam 3k in 1 hour (and a smattering of seconds).  This is the furthest I've ever swam and am really pleased with the set, especially the time.  Dean kept a close watch and reckons that my technique remained really good throughout the whole set - result!  Quick bite to eat and then it was out on the bikes with SC, SK and JF.  Weather forecast was good - no rain, lots of sun.  The weather forecast was also (initially) total bollocks!  By the time we all met we were totally soaked to the skin - nice.  Thankfully it got better, although we then all had too much on, so started to overheat.  Honestly - it's just something else to moan about ...

We went out to ride the Sussex Marathon course, ready for next Sunday.  Bloody hell it's gotta lotta hill. Which is a really good thing - yes, I love running hills ...., I know, I know, bloody weird.  We then tootled off round the lanes and ended up riding for 2:45.  Good training ride with great people.  The Iron Man club is a pretty good club to be part of, just need to get my biking up to scratch a bit.

So - easy week with no training, just riding to work. Then, the Sussex Marathon next Sunday ... bring on that bad boy.

Breaking news .. Lazy fat boy eeks out another PB

Well, it's been a little while hasn't it dear reader?  Hopefully you've all been out there scurrying around, fitting in training and racing into your hectic lives and generally being the good athletes I know you all are?

Meanwhile, your man here has been feeling very sorry himself in a not at all attractive way.  I've used work as an excuse far too many times, that it has slipped way beyond the bounds of the believable now.  I have applied myself almost exclusively to perfecting the art of giving reasons why I can't train today instead of just getting on with it.  Speaking to a number of other IM Wales entrants from within the club this seems to be a pretty common theme, so may well be a part of the whole IM journey that we just weren't prepared for?  I'm sure a sports psychiatrist would have a field day with us lot - perhaps Antonio has some connections  that would just love to use us all for a study paper?  You can see the headline now - "Mad Sports Shrink Let Loose on Mentally Unstable Athletes - Has Care In The Community Let Us Down Once Again?"  Gotta be one for The Guardian surely ....

So - how the hell does today's blog title fit into all this gibberish?

To cheer myself up, to give myself a little kick start and ...., to be brutally honest, ...., to prove to myself that I can still get out there and put the hammer down, I entered the Hastings Half pretty much last minute.  I tried to convince myself that I would run it nice and easy, especially as I have the Sussex (full) Marathon in two weeks time.  So ..., I turned up yesterday in near perfect conditions, and ran my arse off.  I managed a finish time of 1:40:58, which represents a course PB of 2 minutes and 19 seconds.  Not bad and it certainly cheered me right up.  One worrying point is that it felt decidedly like all gels and water I was taking on board was just slosshing around inside my stomach, and was not absorbing properly!  This may be why I got to Ore village and started to die on my feet.  I had flown up Queensway like Concorde, ran the Ridge in pretty good form and then all started to go down hill (and yes, I know the course does just that at that point ...).  I just ran out of steam.  Emma Faulkner caught me along the seafront and was running like the wind.  I tried to get on her heels but that thought only lasted for about 10 seconds - that girl was cruising!  Still - a PB is a PB.

And then I got up this morning with an absolute onset of the D.O.M.S. extrordinaire.  In short my bloody legs hurt like hell, and still do for that matter - which serves me right.  All my training has been long slow, base heart rate running.  So to suddenly crank up the tempo for well over 1 and half hours was only ever going to end one way.  Do I regret this rash decision?  Of course not, this is me after all ...

So - The Marathon next, which REALLY will be run sensibly.  I need to come off the back of that in a position to start training a lot more consistenly for IM Wales - especially on the bike.

These next two weeks will see me doing a bit of recovery running and a bit of swimming.

And before I leave you today - just keep a hold of this thought .... I am out there making all these stupid, dumb arse mistakes and then reporting back on them, so that you don't have to!

Take care goodly folks.

Weak Week Fizzle Blurgh

Despite all the signs being there, I haven't totally lost all sense of reason and sailed off into the sunset of insanity ... honest!

Last week felt like the toughest week of my training so far, yet I actually did next to bugger all so probably counts as my weakest.  The whole concept of mental conditioning has started to raise it's ugly head.  I have definitely under-estimated the mental trauma that this degree of continual training gives out.  No matter how much you do and how much you hurt a voice in the back of your head whispers to you that you are slacking and not doing anywhere near enough .... creepy!

I would like to point out at this point that I do not normally have a whole cast of character voices resident in my head, well ...., apart from the normal crew and they're only there to keep me company on the long training swims, rides and runs ..., wibble wibble boing.

Cycled to work but it felt like I was towing a truck.  No running and no 'proper' cycling, although I did give my road bike a clean up, a de-gunking of the drive train and a re-lube.  Altogether not very impressive.  In fact the hardest thing was having a sports massage to try and loosen off my lower back .... poor excuse I know!

However - a small redemption presented itself in the guise of a good solid swim session on Sunday morning.  A few warm up lengths and assorted drills, followed by a steady 2km set in 40 minutes.  No chance of getting any medals for that time, but not bad for me.

Cycling to work considerably more enthusiastically this week and have endured one of Steph's infamous spin classes on Monday.  Tonight I'm going to 'enjoy' one of Tom's torture sessions (stretch and core) and will follow tomorrow night with another spin class.

I'm hoping that I am finally shaking off the demons that have been haunting me about this training?

I think the lighter nights will help and a bit of warm weather never goes amiss.

Do all roads lead to Rome?

In short .... NO, they bloody well don't, they only lead directly into the wind.  Head out on the bike for a long training ride in a route that goes East, North, South and then West and the wind has the uncanny ability to blow directly into your face no matter what direction you are riding in.  I'm pretty certain that some laws of physics are being compromised here ...?

I headed out yesterday with Sarah, Paul, JP and Simon for a long training ride after swimming.  I knew that the guys were all in for the very long haul but I had decided to opt for a shorter session.  Since my last long ride bonk I have suffered a bit of a crisis of confidence and therefore needed to push myself hard but not to the point where I wrecked myself mentally.

When we reached Rye, Sarah and I decided to break off to do our own thing and headed off along the lanes into some very quaint, not to mention occassionally hilly, Kent countryside.  This made for a really enjoyable ride with good company - tainted slightly by the ever present omni-directional wind.  At least it upped the training load!  I am very happy to say that we covered 97.5km (almost as long as my last ride) and I felt fine, albeit somewhat weary.  This was the confidence boost that I needed and I now feel a lot happier again, so a real BIG thanks to Sarah for all her encouragement on the ride.

Also managed to work in a couple of good swim sessions over the weekend.  The Sunday morning session (before riding) I did a 1500m continual swim in 29:30 using a pull buoy.  Last year, the best time I could manage for the same was 37:30, so an eight minute improvement made me a very happy boy - especially as I was able to chat to Dean straight away afterwards - nice one Tex.

Also worked in a good 90 minute steady run with JP on Saturday - nice bit of conditioning work.

Congrats to Lorna and JP on the announcement of their baby on the way - due September.  Well done guys and good luck - it's guaranteed to be a lot of fun ....

Taking it easy for the next couple of days as the weekend represented a fair bit of training - now it's time to allow the body to adapt.  Blimey, that sounded a bit grown up and sensible :-)
Take care y'all.

Common sense will prevail .... eventually.

Quick update on the weekend's training.

Swam on Friday night with Jez - quick warm up followed by 2 * 1k, using pull-buoys and focussing on stroke technique.  Went well, technique remained good the whole set and I felt like I could have carried on - so a BIG smiley face for that bit.

Saturday morning - right calf muscle painful to the touch .... oh bugger!  Should have been feeling better but most definitely was not.  Gave running training a miss and certainly no long marathon training run - so a grumpy old man face for that bit.  Opted instead for a hill climb turbo session on the bike.  Worked hard with a steadily increasing intensity and felt on top of the world. On the face of things this sounds like a good idea, but ..., the better option would have been to have done nothing instead and rested ..., uh oh - I spy a problem here.

Sunday morning - another good swim session.  Dean very happy that I am now able to spot my technique when it goes a bit wishy washy and make corrections mid-swim.  Another good hour with both training drills and a 1k steady swim.  Back to another big smiley face again.

Talked to Paul after swimming and he was concerned about my calf muscle, but seemed even more concerned at my lack of judgement!  Should just ice and rest and let my body repair itself, not go home and jump on the turbo - decidedly unhappy face.

Suitably admonished, I went home, gentle stretches, ice and lots of rest.  Going to ensure I get loads of protein in my diet this week and will rest the legs until the pain has gone for a clear two days.  Then will get short easy runs in as a test.

Only 6 weeks until the Sussex Marathon, so need to get the body nailed back together again using a mixture of sensible training advice, chocolate milkshakes, good protein and any old rubbish I find lying around ... including the suspiciouly handy oxy-acetelene torch that always seems to be at the back of the barn, some old metal pipes, an old engine from a tractor, some bullets and a good selection of automatic assault rifles. 

Sorry about that, drifted off into the '80s there for a moment!

Busy week at work ahead, so the rest away from training will be quite difficult to deal with ... I know that might sound odd but the busier and more stressed I get at work, the more I need to train to deal with it.  However, common sense must prevail .... one day I'll get it right - one day!

Onwards goodly folks.

Core Blimey

The human body - a wonderful bit of kit, more effective, better adapted and generally more repairable than the most expensive and flashy carbon bike could ever hope to be.  Evolution has, over time, created a machine capable of so much as demonstrated in the amazing world of triathlon.

SO WHY THE BLOODY HELL IS MY BODY SO RUBBISH!!!????  I am going to write a strongly worded letter to someone about this - my Doctor, my MP or maybe even The Times ...  Damn it all to Hades, the British spirit is supposed to overcome this sort of trivia isn't it?

At this point you could be forgiven for wondering what has sparked this little tirade of mine?  Well, since you ask, I'll tell you.  I decided to have another bash at Tom's Core Strength class on Wednesday before running as this is a good way to stretch prior to running training and also, as the name on the tin states, helps to build core strength.  This is something that I know is SO important to our sport and, I also know, is something that I need to make a few improvements in.  I was just shocked to find out that I am so unbelievable weak and feeble in the core area that I am amazed that I can actually stand upright unaided.  I am not exagerating, it really was a pathetic site to behold.

To add insult to considerable injury my leg muscles, the whole bloody lot of them, led in revolt by my mutinous calf muscles (total bastards), have turned into granite.  This may sound impressive stuff - nice rock hard muscles, good definition, paints a nice picture of a well toned athlete ...  However, what it translates to in reality is my with legs so damn stiff I am finding it difficult to walk properly, let alone run.  I am trying to ride into work nice and easily, but even that is proving difficult.

So - to fix things.  Going swimming tonight as this should, I hope, free things up a bit.  I'm going to give the running a miss this weekend, substituting easy turbo work instead - again to try and free things up.  All of which is to be substituted with lots of stretching.  I have booked an appointment with Janine in a couple of weeks, but want to try and undo at least some of the damage so as not to end up with a repeat performance of my last visit where I was reduced to a whimpering wreck!  It is truly tragic isn't it?

Now, the suspicious minded amongst you will be thinking that I have been neglecting my stretching!  In a way I wish this were true, as then I would have a blindingly obvious answer to why this problem has raised it's considerably ugly head.  But ..., that is not the case.  I have been particularly careful about stretching, so am looking for another culprit.  And I think I know what it is .... dehydration (yes, that sneaky little bugger).

I am a shameless coffee addict, drinking gallons of the stuff at work all day.  It is the life blood that keeps me going at work and I have been consuming it at the detriment of drinking water!

So once again - as much I stamp, shout and throw my teddies firmly from the pram, I am left with the inevitable conclusion that my problems are down to my own stupidity.  Consistency in an ever changing world can be a comforting thing - but this degree of self-damaging consistency is just absolute proof that I am a dumb ass.

Sir's lesson for the day - "If in doubt, stretch it out".  Stop sniggering at the back or I'll be forced to hand out detentions.  Now, where's my cane ....?

The Long Good Saturday

There's a movie sequel somewhere in that title but my Saturday probably lacked audience appeal.

I'm well into marathon training at the moment and the long Saturday run has become a staple part of my weekends.  Went out with Tim and Tamsin on, what was originally planned as an easy 'longish' run, probably involving laps.  This was due to Tim shaking off the last of the lurgy and both myself and Tamsin not feeling 100%.

Well, as they say, all the best laid plans etc etc - we ended up running off towards Hastings, turned up Harley Shute, turned left down to Queensway and then 'enjoyed' the long long drag up to the top.  To be honest, I've never found Queensway difficult, just bloody boring, so it was good to have peeps to keep me company.  Our run took us into and out of the other side of Battle and off along to the Catsfield turn.  Into Catsfield, down and then up into Ninfield and back towards Bexhill.

All the time, we were concentrating on how we felt from a hydration and nutrition point and kept ourselves topped up.  The result of which saw us pass the traditional 17mile point without having to get past the dreaded wall.

I left Tim and Tamsin in Bexhill with Tamsin having just clocked up a new record distance of 20 miles.  Kudos to her, as that was a big psychological barrier well and truly broken.

Time I got home I had run 21.3 miles, all on an average h/r of 130.  This made me a VERY happy boy as this is the longest I've run since the Beachy Head Marathon and is also the lowest consistent h/r.  I ended the run feeling very strong, covering the last mile and  a bit in under 8 minutes.  I felt more than able to carry on and, this is the really good bit, felt absolutely fine the following day, albeit a bit weary.

Swim session on Sunday felt good and I have been riding to work since and still feel really strong.  I can't stress enough how beneficial I've found this base h/r conditioning.  It takes a lot of getting used to the fact that you have to run a lot slower than you normally would, but stick with it and it pays mega dividends.

Now ..., all I need to do is to be able to carry this sort of strength over to my biking which has really slipped since last year.  Am I concerned?  To be honest, yes I am a bit.  I know that there is plenty of time still, but you can't keep saying that or there soon won't be.  But this something that I will really focus on after the marathon.  Until then, plenty of riding to work and get in some turbo time.  I'll also chuck in as many long rides as I can too.

Until next we meet - keep up the good wossnames and remember, if anyone at work asks you what exactly it is that you do there is a stock answer that NEVER fails - "Stuff Sir, and damn well!"  This will always elicit the reply of "Oh good ...., carry on that man".

Enjoy

Sort of a weekend

I will openly admit, and without shame or fear of retribution, that I skipped the Friday night swim session in favour of a curry and a couple of large Cobras.  Do I care? Not a jot ...

So with a crashing feeling of guilt I got up Saturday, met Tamsin at the gym and then went and ran just over 16 miles with her as part of our marathon training.  The wind blew mercilessly all the way back from Hastings, but I put that down to plain old Karma as I had sinned so badly the night before.  Goes to prove that you just can't hide from a vindictive Universe!

The run went well, although I spent all of the Hastings part completely lost.  Thankfully, Tamsin had a good idea of where we were or I would still be out there somewhere ....., much like my mind normally is.

Went to my parents for dinner and got the usual 'you need feeding up treatment'  which is pretty bloody marvellous actually.  Came away stuffed and thought that I wouldn't be able to get out of bed for swimming.

Thankfully, when the morning rolled around, I was more than up for it and had another good swim set.  Confidence is a tricky bugger to grow but myself and Dean seem to be getting there with my swimming.  Slowly slowly catchy monkey ..., or should that be dolphin?

Then spent the next 6 hours locked away at home writing a statistics technical report for work ... yes, my life is just that interesting.  Give me some numbers and a good statistical theory and I could bore diamonds back into being coal.  Ask me about hypothesis testing, p-values and the null and alternative hypothesis and see for yourself ...

Sorted out my jammed rear disc brake on my mountain bike today - removed the whole bloody lot.  Fantastic solution this as I can now ride my bike to work again.  One small, and hopefully insignificant, drawback is that I now only have a front brake!  Let us hope Jack Frost and his evil band of cold weather bastards are not coming back, or I will end up enjoying the front skid fandango.

Not sure what this week will bring as I do not feel 100% for some unknown reason.  Feels like a cold type bug is lurking again.  I shall keep my head below the parapets and skirt around this malady. 

Until further on goodly folk ...

Tough week

The title of today's entry - Tough week - gives the distinct impression that I've been hard at it.  Banging out the lengths in the pool, cranking out the miles on the turbo and pounding the pavements, but ...

Work life came storming in at something bordering light speed this week.  Important visitors from our global HQ have monopolised my time big stylee.  I ended up wound like an overly tightened spring, which is why I ended up coming to running club on Wednesday.  I decided to give Tom's new core and stretch class a bash - resulting in the conclusion that I obviously need to do WAY more.  Mind you, the stretching definitely helped me in running club straight after which resulted in me completely abandoning my low rate base running.  In short I needed to cane the arse off of the pavements and really blow out the stress - 'cos it ain't healthy to let that shite float around inside you!  So a big thanks to Emma Faulkner and Marc Speed for keeping me honest on the run and for making sure that I upped the ante on each rep.

So, I woke up thursday morning with very lumpy legs - conclusion ..., speedy running hurts me but long slow super mileage just makes me smile.  Surprisingly, after the long Sunday cycling bonk, I got up feeling tired but with absolutely no tightness in the legs, weird or what?

Hoping to get in a nice long run tomorrow and a swim session on Sunday, but that will be all for this weekend as I have ended up with a load of work to bring home ... BOOOOO.  Ah well, it's not all the time and it does go with the territory, so I'll just have to man up and get it done.  This is, after all, half the battle with Iron distance training - you have to balance the training with your home life and with work commitments, some of which blur together.  Almost glad the weather is forecast for being so bad this weekend - means I won't feel like I'm missing out too much. Bloody selfish attitude that - I can't help thinking!

So, until my next musings, your wise, grumpy old life guide and friend asks that y'all take care and remember, every single day, to pick up a piece of fruit and laugh at it, and never EVER turn your back on a bowl of cornflakes .... vicious buggers them.

Swimming, skiing, bike acrobatics and bonking with your mates ...

Once again dear reader I have started with a most informative header that you will instantly translate into the title of the next Carry On film!  And once again you are somewhat shy of the mark, you little rascals.  Keep this up and you'll be reporting to Sir's study after lessons ...

It has been an interesting weekend of training and the title of today's blog deserves a bit of explaining - sorry Sid and Babs, I'm sort of gonna have to write you out of this now.

Kicked off the weekend's fun and games with a swim session on Friday - no fixed set and not coached, just solid lengths for an hour working on technique.  I think the theory is that I bore my mind into submission so that it has to accept that I can actually swim quite well and therefore leaves my body to get on with doing so.

Saturday morning I met up with Tamsin and Jamie at the gym for an 8:00am start and then ran to Rock-a-Nore at Hastings and back - all at a steady marathon pace.  I then ran past the Polegrove and back through the town to home - door to door distance 14.3 miles.  Nice bit of work, all at a steady 141 average heart rate - nice.

Sunday morning 7:30am, 1 hour of coached swimming with Dean.  Lots of focus on technique and adding a bit of distance.  It felt good and Dean's parting comment was - 'nice set today, well done'.  Definitely gave me a lift and bags of confidence.

Quick change, even quicker breakfast then it was off to meet at Simon's for the Sunday long ride.  This week's stars were, Simon, Sarah, Jon, Jamie and your man here.  We headed west, away from the wind and into the warmth of the sun, not planning for the longest of rides, just something nice and solid.  At East Dean Jon had to leave us and headed for home.  The rest of us continued west, and eventually, after much winding through a whole variety of lanes, found ourselves climbing the slopes of Firle Beacon.

This is where the problems began.  The sun had not cleared all of the ice on the road going up the beacon and we all experienced wheel spin while climbing out of the saddle.  Opted for a seated climb - not easy on that gradient - only to continue to slip.  Got to the top (eventually in my case) and noted that we had so far covered 60km.  At this point I was becoming VERY hungry - a warning sign that I just didn't take enough notice of.  I munched my last pieces of bar and then we set off down the beacon extremely cautiously.  Unfortunately for Simon it was not cautious enough and his front wheel wiped out bringing him down heavily on his left knee and elbow and skiing (on his side) unceromoniously down the beacon.  We stopped, dusted him off and all opted to walk down to the sunny and much safer ice-free corner half way down the becon, after which we rode the remainder.

At 65km I was feeling very odd and suddenly tired so opted to use my emergency caffeine gel - which quickly picked me up again.  Soon, we were approaching Hailsham and at a junction there was a bit of confusion causing Jamie to hesitate and Sarah to ride into the back of him. This caused both of them to wipe out - thankfully into the kerb and not into the road.  Unfortunately Sarah did a slow motion forward roll, got her arm caught in Jamie's wheel and then his saddle crashed down straight into her head!!!  This was not nice and could have so easily been so much worse than it was.  Luckily after a minute or two they were both ok to push on.

At 70km into the ride it went all wrong for me - big stylee - yes, for the first time ever I BONKED, properly BONKED.  I could put no power down, I could not hold onto anyone's wheel, my body started to go numb and very cold.  I couldn't focus or concentrate and started to see stars, my head was spinning so much.  I held desparately onto Simon's wheel - he is such a fantasticly supportive team mate and we eventually made it to the garage along the marsh where Jamie had gone ahead to buy sweet hot chocolate - gawd bless 'em all.  That along with a Mars Bar helped, but I still found that last bit of the ride the rest of the way home the toughest ride that I've ever done.  Total distance 102km - the last 32km running bonked.  This is not an experience that I ever want to experience again.

I learned a lot from yesterday about nutrition and hydration and I will be looking a lot closer into this over the coming weeks.  As they say, "every day is a school day".

Onwards now - I must away to lunch as I haven't stopped feeling hungry since I got in yesterday ...

Weekly news

It's been a relatively quiet week following a couple of weeks of fairly intensive running mileage.  Following last Saturday's trek across the Downs (see last blog entry), my left knee has really started to niggle.  I ran to work on Monday and it hurt way more than it had any right to - it's only 5 miles for goodness sake.

Fast forward to Wednesday evening - an appointment with Janine for sports massage and damage analysis.  With a feeling of dread I let Janine set about finding what I'd done to myself ...

Thankfully, it looks like my problems are down to tight quads, hamstrings and anchilles and are not directly due to my patellar tendon - that is just where the problem is manifesting itself.   HUGE relief, as I have let paranoia completely take over my mind.

"You have, of course, been stretching adequately, in order to compensate for all this extra mileage?" asked Janine in a matter of fact way while working on my calf muscles.

"Absolutely" I replied, "all the time - never a moment passes etc etc" I lied.

"Oh that's ok then, so this doesn't hurt or anything then?" as she pushed, what I think was her thumb, but felt more like a crow-bar into my calf muscle.

Manfully I buried my head into the massage table, or was that the medieval rack that I seemed to have transported to?  I could take this pain, I could fool this crow-bar wielding torturer, I am an Iron Man in the making ...  This ploy worked for all of about 4 seconds, after which the highly pathetic sobs and yelps that appeared to be coming from me, yes me damn it, showed the terrible truth.  I was in bloody agony, my muscles were as solid as concrete.

After the year I had in 2009 when I was forced to take nearly 6 months out and go through months of accupuncture and laser therapy for my patellar tendon, you would have thought that a sensible, vaguely intelligent person, would have learnt ...

Hmm, case in point there I think!  Back to running in to work today and the couple of days rest coupled with the torture session seems to have done the trick.  That and the whole ton of stretching I 'enjoyed' last night of course.  So, off to swimming tonight and I will be looking to work on technique again but will also be using my HR monitor to guage the effort.

Hopefully a nice long run tomorrow and then we'll see how Sunday goes.  Onwards and upwards ...

Quality running, cracking birds and the cold shoulder ....

Go on, read the title and then let your mucky minds get carried away with you.  Al has gone away for the weekend and got carried away with himself ...

Well, you're well shy of the mark.  Got up and got out early Saturday morning with a mate - his poor wife and mine dropping us in the middle of nowhere on the South Downs.  We ran a solid 14.5 hilly, windy, freezing and rough terrain miles across the Downs in an enjoyable 2:15.

So, what of the cracking birds and the cold shoulder?  That would be the numerous hawks that were flying around us hunting pheasants.  And the cold shoulder - that came courtesy of the snow storm that blew up out of nowhere after the first 10 minutes of running!  Just like to point out that the cold shoulder was joined by the bloody freezing everything else.

Definitely proved itself a good run set in gnarly conditions.  Recovered really well, with no aches and no trouble from the left knee and it's good friend the patella tendon.  Legs and lungs are now feeling really strong with all the base conditioning runs and the exposure to generally crap conditions.  Ran in to work this morning at the same effort level (I think) that I have been doing, but seemed to cover the distance nearly 5 mins quicker - NICE.

Looking forward to the Sussex Marathon - especially with another couple of months training to go.  Will start to build in a fair bit more cycling too, just to keep life interesting.

Onwards and upwards ...

Uninspiring week, better weekend

Another week storms past with my head well and truly buried up to the ears in work.  Have managed to keep on top of my running training by running to work, and occasionally back home again.  This has the added benefit of allowing me to get my head together as well as adding more base miles.  Left (problem child) knee has been niggling as the mileage has built up, but have kept on this with plenty of stretching and icing.  Not posing too big a problem, but I know what a sneaky little bastard this sort of problem can be .... and I ain't going back there again!  Vigilance, as ever, is the watch word.

But now the weekend looms and it should be a good 'un.  Off to stay with friends in Petersfield, at the other end of the South Downs.  I am a big advocate of balance and harmony, and the more observant among you may have seen the Yin Yang tattoo at the top of my left arm.  This is the symbol of harmony in the universe.

To add relevance to this obvious hippie crap waffling - I will be pigging out on beer and a chinese on Saturday night.  This, of course, is naughty and wrong for all the good reasons.  Afterwards I will feel too full and my head will hurt long into Sunday afternoon.  This is because I have now turned 40 and have automatically forgotten how to drink many beers and dodge hangovers. To achieve balance and therefore smooth my way through the universe I will first enjoy a 14.5 mile trail run tomorrow morning.  This will take me from Cocking to Petersfield on the second half of the South Downs Trail Marathon route + a bit extra tacked on the end.  I have run this route before and it is fairly tough and will add nicely to the base conditioning, with a nice dollop of strength training thrown in for good measure.  Harting Down is the definite HIGH light of the run, looking more like a vertical wall!  Will this selfless act of running heroism save me from the inevitable hangover?  Well, lets be honest, no it won't, but it will make me feel better about myself and will help to convince me that - come September - I will deserve that lovely shiny M Dot medal.

All the runs I'm banking at the moment will serve me well on the Sussex Marathon which is going to be hilly.  After all the trail runs I'm doing I am feeling in good shape and am really looking forward to it.  Afterwards I will start to really focus on the cycling.

Until the next update - take care dear reader and get yourself out into the great outdoors.

Double helpings disappoint Lazy Fat Boy ...

The weekend update finds our hero awash with hunger and disappointment.  "Double helpings" was the offer and the greedy Lazy Fat Boy jumped at the chance.  Yippee, extra trifle and buns ....., only to find that the double helping was of RUNNING!

"Spanking! Oo Missus"

Saturday morning running club - 4 x 2km around the Polegrove - all at base heart rate for me.  It felt ridiculously easy and comfortable, which of course is the point.

Then, early afternoon, over to Birling Gap (with a mate who had come to visit for the weekend) for an easy paced 10 mile run across the Downs - ending with the Seven Sisters.  Once again kept it all nice and steady, which was pretty tricky sliding around in the mud in Friston Forest. It all felt ok, although the Seven Sisters will always give you a damn good spanking no matter how you try to run them - saucy minxes that they are.

Sunday - another good swim set concentrating only on technique - catch, glide, breathing etc.  I'm not at all concerned with speed or distance at this time.  The stroke mechanics are coming on in leaps and bounds, thanks to Dean, and my rather shaky swim confidence is also on the up.  There's a fair way to go until IMW, so I am taking the sensible route of working on my swim efficiency.  All I need to be able to do, is to get out of the water inside the swim cut-off time, feeling ready to rock the bike.

Ran to work this morning in torrential rain and arrived feeling like I'd swum - then spent the rest of the day smelling faintly like a wet dog.  Still - it's good to train in all weathers - the worse the better.  They don't call this race Iron Man for nothing, and they certainly don't give finishers' medals away free with a packet of cornflakes.  Train in anything - Race in anything is my mantra.

Until the next update - leave them donuts alone, chase the fish, spin the cranks and pound the pavements, it's all good.

Breaking news .. Lazy fat boy uses work as an excuse!

Have ended up having a bit of an enforced rest period for the first half of this week due to a couple of factors:

1. The rear hydraulic brake caliper on my mountain bike (which I use for getting to work) has seized.  Now, I'm ever up for a challenge,  but the thought of riding 10 miles a day with a fully locked on hyraulic brake can only ever be filed under the category of "Bloody stupid idea!!!".
2. Work - having to bring home numerous technical and regulatory documents for review - yes, they are about as boring as that description sounds, has resulted in my not getting out in the evening.

However, decided to bite the bullet and ran to work this morning.  The challenge of limiting my heart rate is driving me to destraction, so to make it a bit more manageable, and to slow the rate of my impending insanity, I have decided to use my own RPE scale (Rate of Perceived Effort).  The scale is shown below:

1. Recovery / Base conditioning / really easy.
2. Easy long runs - perfect for up to marathon distance runs.
3. Tempo pace / moderate effort.
4. Speed work / hard effort.
5. Balls out race pace.

Using this system I would say this morning's run wavered between 1 and 2 and gave me an average h/r of 141, which is good enough.

I weighed myself on Tuesday - just to get an idea of what I need to shift.  Wished I hadn't!  How the hell can a couple of days Christmas bingeing increase your weight by, what feels like, a quarter of a metric tonne?  I weighed in at 81kg and my ideal race weight is just 73 kg, so a bit of work to do.  The picture on the right is NOT an unfair assessment of my current state!

If you have any suggestions for helping to shift this weight please email me at:

Lardmanwales@fatboyaintgotnowillpower.org.uk

Right, must get on - have got a mug of green tea with cranberries to enjoy and I need to steer well clear of all naughty nosh!

Super Sunday

What a cracking day.  Early swim this morning - once again focussing heavily on my stroke, catch and drive.  Dean (swim instructor) is a top man, encouraging and developing you in small easy to absorb bite size chunks of advice.  This suits me down to the ground as my mind operates rather like a revolving door - something can go in and then go round and round all day. But the minute another piece of information jumps in the first one is kicked out.

Tried out my latest swim gadget this morning - the swim snorkel.
I would recommend this to anyone.  I bought mine from http://www.swimshop.co.uk/.  It has the benefit of allowing you to focus on your stroke and glide without the hindrance of breathing out of the water.  It also highlights how erratic your breathing can be - which in turn burns a lot of energy and forces up your heart rate.  There's also a side benefit caused by the snorkel making it a bit harder to breathe - you end up swimming with a hypoxic effect - similar to breathing every 5 strokes.  It looks a bit weird when it's on, but hey, the whole concept of swimming when your not an aquatic creature is bloody absurd, so go figure.

The down side is that it sounds like you are the unhappy and unfortunate outcome of a drunken one night stand between Jaques Cousteau and Darth Vader!  Try not to dwell on that unsavoury image too long...

After swimming, went out with Paul, Simon, Sarah and JP, (all doing IM Wales), for a long ride after the swimming.  Total of 85km up hill and down dale through the lanes in bright and cold conditions - perfect riding (despite the odd ice patch), excellent training, top people - what more could you want?  Bike fitness has lost the cold edge of last year, but that's to be expected after the monstrous onslaught of eating that I enjoyed over Christmas.  Also the H/R limiting went to hell on a hand cart, but the overall average worked out at 140 bpm over 3.5 hours of riding, and that will do nicely.  So I won't be getting too hung up over it. All things considered this was a good day of training and firmly marks the card for the long haul training.

Friday Paddle / Saturday Plod

Friday swim was the first one since the week before Christmas and I knew it! Climbed into the water, after breaking the ice and shooing the penguins away, and then swam far too hard for 50m - after which I

was clinging to end of the pool gasping for air ... not a good start.


The water struck cold, despite my considerable Xmas weight gain!  The upshot of this was a much needed dose of additional buoyancy.

Slowed down and did some 100m warm ups, then went for the pull buoy and paddles, to much better effect.  Tried a few lengths with the kick board, but cramp in my calves soon put paid to that little game - bloody useless body, only asked for a few minutes kicking and it packed in after about 60 seconds!

Left the pool feeling knackered and with the feeling that I had somehow mysteriously forgotten how to swim.  Must be a strange side effect of Xmas pudding.  Supermarkets have been a bit slow to admit that on their packaging.  I will be viewing all future grocery shopping with much suspicion ...

Saturday run with the club.  Round and round the Polegrove, all on H/R limit of 145.  I know I've got to do this type of running and cycling for a few weeks to build up the endurance engine, but it is SO boring.  I will persist and it will prove to be the right thing when I run the Sussex Marathon in April.  Until then, long slow miles will be the way forward .... slowly.

Sticking with the base training now will lay the foundation for the harder training later in the spring.  It's all part of Project WIMP - Wales Iron Man Plan.

Here we go ...

Well - after a fantastic Christmas lunch with Team Lifestyle, and probably one (or five) too many beers, I appear to have entered Iron Man Wales! 

For those who don't know what an Iron Man triathlon entails it is: 2.4 miles sea swim, followed by 112 miles of cycling and is topped off with a full 26.2 mile marathon run.  Total race distance 140.6 miles, all within a 17 hour time limit.

The furthest I've raced is a half iron distance of 70.3 miles, and I will freely admit that that was tough.  Still, nothing like a good challenge in life ... apparently.  However, luckily for me, I am about as bloody-minded as it is possible to get - so the thought of a long long looooooong day of racing fills me with a determination to get out there and learn it's arse some respect!

I will regularly post to this blog and would love to get comment and feedback from anyone who reads it - preferably comments of a supportive and constructive nature ... Failing that, really creative and original insults.