Swimming, skiing, bike acrobatics and bonking with your mates ...

Once again dear reader I have started with a most informative header that you will instantly translate into the title of the next Carry On film!  And once again you are somewhat shy of the mark, you little rascals.  Keep this up and you'll be reporting to Sir's study after lessons ...

It has been an interesting weekend of training and the title of today's blog deserves a bit of explaining - sorry Sid and Babs, I'm sort of gonna have to write you out of this now.

Kicked off the weekend's fun and games with a swim session on Friday - no fixed set and not coached, just solid lengths for an hour working on technique.  I think the theory is that I bore my mind into submission so that it has to accept that I can actually swim quite well and therefore leaves my body to get on with doing so.

Saturday morning I met up with Tamsin and Jamie at the gym for an 8:00am start and then ran to Rock-a-Nore at Hastings and back - all at a steady marathon pace.  I then ran past the Polegrove and back through the town to home - door to door distance 14.3 miles.  Nice bit of work, all at a steady 141 average heart rate - nice.

Sunday morning 7:30am, 1 hour of coached swimming with Dean.  Lots of focus on technique and adding a bit of distance.  It felt good and Dean's parting comment was - 'nice set today, well done'.  Definitely gave me a lift and bags of confidence.

Quick change, even quicker breakfast then it was off to meet at Simon's for the Sunday long ride.  This week's stars were, Simon, Sarah, Jon, Jamie and your man here.  We headed west, away from the wind and into the warmth of the sun, not planning for the longest of rides, just something nice and solid.  At East Dean Jon had to leave us and headed for home.  The rest of us continued west, and eventually, after much winding through a whole variety of lanes, found ourselves climbing the slopes of Firle Beacon.

This is where the problems began.  The sun had not cleared all of the ice on the road going up the beacon and we all experienced wheel spin while climbing out of the saddle.  Opted for a seated climb - not easy on that gradient - only to continue to slip.  Got to the top (eventually in my case) and noted that we had so far covered 60km.  At this point I was becoming VERY hungry - a warning sign that I just didn't take enough notice of.  I munched my last pieces of bar and then we set off down the beacon extremely cautiously.  Unfortunately for Simon it was not cautious enough and his front wheel wiped out bringing him down heavily on his left knee and elbow and skiing (on his side) unceromoniously down the beacon.  We stopped, dusted him off and all opted to walk down to the sunny and much safer ice-free corner half way down the becon, after which we rode the remainder.

At 65km I was feeling very odd and suddenly tired so opted to use my emergency caffeine gel - which quickly picked me up again.  Soon, we were approaching Hailsham and at a junction there was a bit of confusion causing Jamie to hesitate and Sarah to ride into the back of him. This caused both of them to wipe out - thankfully into the kerb and not into the road.  Unfortunately Sarah did a slow motion forward roll, got her arm caught in Jamie's wheel and then his saddle crashed down straight into her head!!!  This was not nice and could have so easily been so much worse than it was.  Luckily after a minute or two they were both ok to push on.

At 70km into the ride it went all wrong for me - big stylee - yes, for the first time ever I BONKED, properly BONKED.  I could put no power down, I could not hold onto anyone's wheel, my body started to go numb and very cold.  I couldn't focus or concentrate and started to see stars, my head was spinning so much.  I held desparately onto Simon's wheel - he is such a fantasticly supportive team mate and we eventually made it to the garage along the marsh where Jamie had gone ahead to buy sweet hot chocolate - gawd bless 'em all.  That along with a Mars Bar helped, but I still found that last bit of the ride the rest of the way home the toughest ride that I've ever done.  Total distance 102km - the last 32km running bonked.  This is not an experience that I ever want to experience again.

I learned a lot from yesterday about nutrition and hydration and I will be looking a lot closer into this over the coming weeks.  As they say, "every day is a school day".

Onwards now - I must away to lunch as I haven't stopped feeling hungry since I got in yesterday ...

Weekly news

It's been a relatively quiet week following a couple of weeks of fairly intensive running mileage.  Following last Saturday's trek across the Downs (see last blog entry), my left knee has really started to niggle.  I ran to work on Monday and it hurt way more than it had any right to - it's only 5 miles for goodness sake.

Fast forward to Wednesday evening - an appointment with Janine for sports massage and damage analysis.  With a feeling of dread I let Janine set about finding what I'd done to myself ...

Thankfully, it looks like my problems are down to tight quads, hamstrings and anchilles and are not directly due to my patellar tendon - that is just where the problem is manifesting itself.   HUGE relief, as I have let paranoia completely take over my mind.

"You have, of course, been stretching adequately, in order to compensate for all this extra mileage?" asked Janine in a matter of fact way while working on my calf muscles.

"Absolutely" I replied, "all the time - never a moment passes etc etc" I lied.

"Oh that's ok then, so this doesn't hurt or anything then?" as she pushed, what I think was her thumb, but felt more like a crow-bar into my calf muscle.

Manfully I buried my head into the massage table, or was that the medieval rack that I seemed to have transported to?  I could take this pain, I could fool this crow-bar wielding torturer, I am an Iron Man in the making ...  This ploy worked for all of about 4 seconds, after which the highly pathetic sobs and yelps that appeared to be coming from me, yes me damn it, showed the terrible truth.  I was in bloody agony, my muscles were as solid as concrete.

After the year I had in 2009 when I was forced to take nearly 6 months out and go through months of accupuncture and laser therapy for my patellar tendon, you would have thought that a sensible, vaguely intelligent person, would have learnt ...

Hmm, case in point there I think!  Back to running in to work today and the couple of days rest coupled with the torture session seems to have done the trick.  That and the whole ton of stretching I 'enjoyed' last night of course.  So, off to swimming tonight and I will be looking to work on technique again but will also be using my HR monitor to guage the effort.

Hopefully a nice long run tomorrow and then we'll see how Sunday goes.  Onwards and upwards ...

Quality running, cracking birds and the cold shoulder ....

Go on, read the title and then let your mucky minds get carried away with you.  Al has gone away for the weekend and got carried away with himself ...

Well, you're well shy of the mark.  Got up and got out early Saturday morning with a mate - his poor wife and mine dropping us in the middle of nowhere on the South Downs.  We ran a solid 14.5 hilly, windy, freezing and rough terrain miles across the Downs in an enjoyable 2:15.

So, what of the cracking birds and the cold shoulder?  That would be the numerous hawks that were flying around us hunting pheasants.  And the cold shoulder - that came courtesy of the snow storm that blew up out of nowhere after the first 10 minutes of running!  Just like to point out that the cold shoulder was joined by the bloody freezing everything else.

Definitely proved itself a good run set in gnarly conditions.  Recovered really well, with no aches and no trouble from the left knee and it's good friend the patella tendon.  Legs and lungs are now feeling really strong with all the base conditioning runs and the exposure to generally crap conditions.  Ran in to work this morning at the same effort level (I think) that I have been doing, but seemed to cover the distance nearly 5 mins quicker - NICE.

Looking forward to the Sussex Marathon - especially with another couple of months training to go.  Will start to build in a fair bit more cycling too, just to keep life interesting.

Onwards and upwards ...

Uninspiring week, better weekend

Another week storms past with my head well and truly buried up to the ears in work.  Have managed to keep on top of my running training by running to work, and occasionally back home again.  This has the added benefit of allowing me to get my head together as well as adding more base miles.  Left (problem child) knee has been niggling as the mileage has built up, but have kept on this with plenty of stretching and icing.  Not posing too big a problem, but I know what a sneaky little bastard this sort of problem can be .... and I ain't going back there again!  Vigilance, as ever, is the watch word.

But now the weekend looms and it should be a good 'un.  Off to stay with friends in Petersfield, at the other end of the South Downs.  I am a big advocate of balance and harmony, and the more observant among you may have seen the Yin Yang tattoo at the top of my left arm.  This is the symbol of harmony in the universe.

To add relevance to this obvious hippie crap waffling - I will be pigging out on beer and a chinese on Saturday night.  This, of course, is naughty and wrong for all the good reasons.  Afterwards I will feel too full and my head will hurt long into Sunday afternoon.  This is because I have now turned 40 and have automatically forgotten how to drink many beers and dodge hangovers. To achieve balance and therefore smooth my way through the universe I will first enjoy a 14.5 mile trail run tomorrow morning.  This will take me from Cocking to Petersfield on the second half of the South Downs Trail Marathon route + a bit extra tacked on the end.  I have run this route before and it is fairly tough and will add nicely to the base conditioning, with a nice dollop of strength training thrown in for good measure.  Harting Down is the definite HIGH light of the run, looking more like a vertical wall!  Will this selfless act of running heroism save me from the inevitable hangover?  Well, lets be honest, no it won't, but it will make me feel better about myself and will help to convince me that - come September - I will deserve that lovely shiny M Dot medal.

All the runs I'm banking at the moment will serve me well on the Sussex Marathon which is going to be hilly.  After all the trail runs I'm doing I am feeling in good shape and am really looking forward to it.  Afterwards I will start to really focus on the cycling.

Until the next update - take care dear reader and get yourself out into the great outdoors.

Double helpings disappoint Lazy Fat Boy ...

The weekend update finds our hero awash with hunger and disappointment.  "Double helpings" was the offer and the greedy Lazy Fat Boy jumped at the chance.  Yippee, extra trifle and buns ....., only to find that the double helping was of RUNNING!

"Spanking! Oo Missus"

Saturday morning running club - 4 x 2km around the Polegrove - all at base heart rate for me.  It felt ridiculously easy and comfortable, which of course is the point.

Then, early afternoon, over to Birling Gap (with a mate who had come to visit for the weekend) for an easy paced 10 mile run across the Downs - ending with the Seven Sisters.  Once again kept it all nice and steady, which was pretty tricky sliding around in the mud in Friston Forest. It all felt ok, although the Seven Sisters will always give you a damn good spanking no matter how you try to run them - saucy minxes that they are.

Sunday - another good swim set concentrating only on technique - catch, glide, breathing etc.  I'm not at all concerned with speed or distance at this time.  The stroke mechanics are coming on in leaps and bounds, thanks to Dean, and my rather shaky swim confidence is also on the up.  There's a fair way to go until IMW, so I am taking the sensible route of working on my swim efficiency.  All I need to be able to do, is to get out of the water inside the swim cut-off time, feeling ready to rock the bike.

Ran to work this morning in torrential rain and arrived feeling like I'd swum - then spent the rest of the day smelling faintly like a wet dog.  Still - it's good to train in all weathers - the worse the better.  They don't call this race Iron Man for nothing, and they certainly don't give finishers' medals away free with a packet of cornflakes.  Train in anything - Race in anything is my mantra.

Until the next update - leave them donuts alone, chase the fish, spin the cranks and pound the pavements, it's all good.

Breaking news .. Lazy fat boy uses work as an excuse!

Have ended up having a bit of an enforced rest period for the first half of this week due to a couple of factors:

1. The rear hydraulic brake caliper on my mountain bike (which I use for getting to work) has seized.  Now, I'm ever up for a challenge,  but the thought of riding 10 miles a day with a fully locked on hyraulic brake can only ever be filed under the category of "Bloody stupid idea!!!".
2. Work - having to bring home numerous technical and regulatory documents for review - yes, they are about as boring as that description sounds, has resulted in my not getting out in the evening.

However, decided to bite the bullet and ran to work this morning.  The challenge of limiting my heart rate is driving me to destraction, so to make it a bit more manageable, and to slow the rate of my impending insanity, I have decided to use my own RPE scale (Rate of Perceived Effort).  The scale is shown below:

1. Recovery / Base conditioning / really easy.
2. Easy long runs - perfect for up to marathon distance runs.
3. Tempo pace / moderate effort.
4. Speed work / hard effort.
5. Balls out race pace.

Using this system I would say this morning's run wavered between 1 and 2 and gave me an average h/r of 141, which is good enough.

I weighed myself on Tuesday - just to get an idea of what I need to shift.  Wished I hadn't!  How the hell can a couple of days Christmas bingeing increase your weight by, what feels like, a quarter of a metric tonne?  I weighed in at 81kg and my ideal race weight is just 73 kg, so a bit of work to do.  The picture on the right is NOT an unfair assessment of my current state!

If you have any suggestions for helping to shift this weight please email me at:

Lardmanwales@fatboyaintgotnowillpower.org.uk

Right, must get on - have got a mug of green tea with cranberries to enjoy and I need to steer well clear of all naughty nosh!

Super Sunday

What a cracking day.  Early swim this morning - once again focussing heavily on my stroke, catch and drive.  Dean (swim instructor) is a top man, encouraging and developing you in small easy to absorb bite size chunks of advice.  This suits me down to the ground as my mind operates rather like a revolving door - something can go in and then go round and round all day. But the minute another piece of information jumps in the first one is kicked out.

Tried out my latest swim gadget this morning - the swim snorkel.
I would recommend this to anyone.  I bought mine from http://www.swimshop.co.uk/.  It has the benefit of allowing you to focus on your stroke and glide without the hindrance of breathing out of the water.  It also highlights how erratic your breathing can be - which in turn burns a lot of energy and forces up your heart rate.  There's also a side benefit caused by the snorkel making it a bit harder to breathe - you end up swimming with a hypoxic effect - similar to breathing every 5 strokes.  It looks a bit weird when it's on, but hey, the whole concept of swimming when your not an aquatic creature is bloody absurd, so go figure.

The down side is that it sounds like you are the unhappy and unfortunate outcome of a drunken one night stand between Jaques Cousteau and Darth Vader!  Try not to dwell on that unsavoury image too long...

After swimming, went out with Paul, Simon, Sarah and JP, (all doing IM Wales), for a long ride after the swimming.  Total of 85km up hill and down dale through the lanes in bright and cold conditions - perfect riding (despite the odd ice patch), excellent training, top people - what more could you want?  Bike fitness has lost the cold edge of last year, but that's to be expected after the monstrous onslaught of eating that I enjoyed over Christmas.  Also the H/R limiting went to hell on a hand cart, but the overall average worked out at 140 bpm over 3.5 hours of riding, and that will do nicely.  So I won't be getting too hung up over it. All things considered this was a good day of training and firmly marks the card for the long haul training.

Friday Paddle / Saturday Plod

Friday swim was the first one since the week before Christmas and I knew it! Climbed into the water, after breaking the ice and shooing the penguins away, and then swam far too hard for 50m - after which I

was clinging to end of the pool gasping for air ... not a good start.


The water struck cold, despite my considerable Xmas weight gain!  The upshot of this was a much needed dose of additional buoyancy.

Slowed down and did some 100m warm ups, then went for the pull buoy and paddles, to much better effect.  Tried a few lengths with the kick board, but cramp in my calves soon put paid to that little game - bloody useless body, only asked for a few minutes kicking and it packed in after about 60 seconds!

Left the pool feeling knackered and with the feeling that I had somehow mysteriously forgotten how to swim.  Must be a strange side effect of Xmas pudding.  Supermarkets have been a bit slow to admit that on their packaging.  I will be viewing all future grocery shopping with much suspicion ...

Saturday run with the club.  Round and round the Polegrove, all on H/R limit of 145.  I know I've got to do this type of running and cycling for a few weeks to build up the endurance engine, but it is SO boring.  I will persist and it will prove to be the right thing when I run the Sussex Marathon in April.  Until then, long slow miles will be the way forward .... slowly.

Sticking with the base training now will lay the foundation for the harder training later in the spring.  It's all part of Project WIMP - Wales Iron Man Plan.

Here we go ...

Well - after a fantastic Christmas lunch with Team Lifestyle, and probably one (or five) too many beers, I appear to have entered Iron Man Wales! 

For those who don't know what an Iron Man triathlon entails it is: 2.4 miles sea swim, followed by 112 miles of cycling and is topped off with a full 26.2 mile marathon run.  Total race distance 140.6 miles, all within a 17 hour time limit.

The furthest I've raced is a half iron distance of 70.3 miles, and I will freely admit that that was tough.  Still, nothing like a good challenge in life ... apparently.  However, luckily for me, I am about as bloody-minded as it is possible to get - so the thought of a long long looooooong day of racing fills me with a determination to get out there and learn it's arse some respect!

I will regularly post to this blog and would love to get comment and feedback from anyone who reads it - preferably comments of a supportive and constructive nature ... Failing that, really creative and original insults.